Closed Doors:Answered Prayers

In the midst of everything that has occurred over the past year, The Hubby and I have debated whether or not to make a move. Yes, a physical move to another home. This time the home was exactly half way around the world. Another country and certainly another way of life. We have been exploring this option for over a year and were confident that the move would occur.

Many asked how I was dealing with the stress of the possibility. For a while I was anxious about hearing any news regarding a timeline, but then I realized that I really had nothing to do with the end result. It was at that moment that I turned it over to God. He was ultimately going to be making the final decision. Some people scoffed at this idea, but we remained faithful in our constant prayers. I'm not saying that my tone with God didn't change from optimistic to frustrated, but I also realized that he would do it in His time.

Ten months later it looks as if the deal isn't going through. Frustrated and saddened by the news, our prayers turned to asking God to reveal why he closed this door of opportunity. I write this blog post because I truly believe that our situation is a testament to God's plan and what will occur when you turn all your burdens over.

Last night I talked with my Dad at great length over the phone. There are days I am certainly in denial that there is anything going on with his health. Other days, I am overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I cannot even fathom the thought of not being able to pick up the phone and talk to him. If I let it, it will consume me.

During our phone call we talked about how he was unable to receive chemo, due to his low cell count. We talked how he had his final visit with his surgeon, and how he had some "big" questions answered like what was the time frame given his medical history? Tough, tough questions and even tougher answers. We talked about what he was going to start doing everyday. We talked about the homeopathic vitamins he had ordered. He mentioned he had taken care of some business that dealt with things that I cannot even begin to think about. Planning...getting things in order...enjoying every single moment. I hung up the phone telling him that I loved him so very much.

Trav entered the room and I put my head in my hands and sobbed. I have had moments in my life where I truly felt what I refer to as the Holy Spirit. This time it was as if a wave of comfort swept over me. I felt it...it was so clear and real in that very moment. Trav looked at me, and I at him, and we both knew without saying a word that God had already answered our prayers. We knew why he had closed that particular door. It was as if the sadness and frustration of the past year just fell away. God's plan was for us to be here. Right where we are. To be near my Dad this next year. To surround him and show him just how much we love him. To allow our children to see and experience some of life's hard lessons, and to make lots memories in the process.

We leave for home next week to spend time with both of our families. I can't wait to sit by a real fire, play cards with my brother-in-law and nephews, fry traditional mush Christmas morning with my Dad, watch the kids open presents, meet my new brother-in -law to be, blow out the candles on my 30++++ birthday cake that my sister will make, and just "BE". Content with where I am and what I have. Surrounded by those I love, celebrating the birth of our Savior...to be truly present this time of year and enjoy all of my blessings. May each of you enjoy those around you and experience the true meaning of Christmas! See you next year!