An Angel In Our Midst

I believe in angels...do you? Not little cherubs flying around with harps, or the ones that I believe I see when I drive up to witness the HOT lights flashing from the Krispy Kreme window. I believe that certain individuals were intentionally placed in our lives at random times. They can come in the middle of a tragic event or you could have known them forever and yet you don't truly realize their true potential until you need them most. I can just imagine the smile on God's face when he watches people reach out and care for one another.

I had been an angel for my dear friend Lee. At least I thought of myself as her angel, although at times, she saw me as an enemy due to her mental illness. An angel that took care of her, most of the time behind her back. Sometimes we don't notice our angels, until after the fact. My family's angels have been triumphant the past few weeks.

Many of my families dearest and oldest friends have been involved in my dad's healing. Couples that have known my parents for over 30 years or more through church, the old neighborhood and work. They have been so encouraging and recalling special memories with these individuals has help to heal our spirits. You know that these angels were waiting in the wings to provide a sense of comfort and familiarity that only they could. Then there are the "more recent" angels. Friends and neighbors who have been so generous with helping with the day-to-day tasks of babysitting, dinners, yard work, and the occasional lovely bottle of wine...please don't judge :) My personal angels, from old friends to my church, have risen above and beyond to cover my many responsibilities and to also give an encouraging word.

I do believe my dad has his very own angel. I will call her CK. She was the attending resident when my dad was transferred to IU Med. There was something about her that I knew my father would respect and adore all in one. She became the one we turned to for answers and all the technical lingo of the weeks events. Yet, there was something else outside of all of that she possessed. Not a day went by without her taking the time to just sit with us and comfort our every need. She gained the trust of my dad and had been adopted into the family. A day wasn't a good day until we had seen her face. She took the physical devastation of this disease out of the picture, if just for a few minutes, and focused on my dad. We found not only his angel, but we also found a young woman who would soon be loved by so many. A woman who you would love to have as a sister, daughter, or a best friend. A woman who was blessed with incredible wisdom and discernment, a great sense of humor and a heart bigger than you could ever imagine. We hope to celebrate her graduation next May from med school. In the meantime, she has been invited to come up to Bremen, Indiana and have a Hoople's Burger and a beer in honor of my dad.

You may not know it, but your purpose here on Earth may be far greater than you could ever imagine. Your angel may be standing right in front of you. You may be unaware that you are someone's special angel. Look at it as something that could only be given to us by our Lord...isn't that something we all should strive for? How special! xoxo

Tick-Tock

Tick Tock, goes the clock...and the mouse runs up the clock

If I close my mind, I can hear Sis Margaret squeal with delight...her Pa swinging her from side to side as he repeats this nursery rhyme of sorts, over and over again.

How do I tell Sis Margaret that "Tick Tock" will have to happen later....

My Answer:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord,
Jer 29:11

Recipe for a Remedy

One way to help mend a broken heart...a divine desert made by someone else.

Days

Just four weeks ago, my dad sat across from me on my deck as we read USA Today and drank a big glass if ice tea together. We power washed the deck and pulled out the roots of four large bushes that covered the corner of the yard. We worked really hard that day. I think I made him proud as I forgot all of my "girlie" tendencies while cutting down branches and digging holes. He chuckled as I tried to use the trimmer to sculpt the bushes to be symmetrical. As always, there was a comment about how I was at least putting my art degree to good use. Symmetry in landscaping is vital!

Just four weeks ago, he had abdominal pain and became jaundice.

Just three weeks ago, he found out that he needed to have his gall bladder removed.

Just two weeks ago, he had surgery to remove his gall bladder and kidney stones.

Just one week ago, he prepared to be transferred after surgery to a different hospital due to complications.

Just five days ago he was with all of his kids and grandkids saying his goodbyes if he didn't make it out of surgery to remove a tumor they found on his pancreas.

Just four days ago, he awoke from surgery only to be told they couldn't remove the tumor due to its location.

Just two days ago, my father learned he had inoperable pancreatic cancer.

Just one day ago, my dad learned that he was going die.

Today, I watched the sweetest man I have ever known, come to terms that he has a timeline. We all will eventually die, but not all of us know the time. It was already determined even before the day we were born. I wonder if this is a good thing or bad thing.

In three days, my dad will be coming home to be surrounded by his wife of forty five years, his four children and his 10 grandchildren. We will laugh, dance to all our family favorite tunes and sit out on the back deck in the red adirondack chairs with the candles lit. You will be able to hear the crickets as the fireflies dance in the night sky.

Tonight, I'm thinking of you Daddy, as I put my own three children down to sleep. It is then that I will climb into my own bed of slumber, say my prayers and praises and drift off to sleep with loving thoughts of the greatest man I've ever known.
Always,
Ed

The Storm

I was sure by now,God,that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

My Dad

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
While we do not look at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
What a wonderful week of serving I just completed. God was present and alive...He had to be.

I am going to be absent from blogging for a while. It seems God has a different plan for me. While at the Big Serve my father became ill after a routine surgery. Test after test revealed that he has pancreatic cancer. This has been a complete shock and is devastating to my family. At this time he is having emergency surgery, but as many of you many be aware, this particular cancer is terrible. My faith has been in my God who I prayed to watch over my dad while I continued my serving on my mission trip. He had plans for me this week and he came though loud and clear. So, as my family goes through this personal trial, I once again cry out to my Lord for healing, wisdom, and faith. For He and He alone is the one true God who is capable of miracles. I believe and proclaim his glory as I raise up my Dad to him.

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad and Happy Fathers Day to my sweet and remarkable Dad.
I LOVE YOU!!

In Him....

Lifesong

I am off to try and make a difference in a child's life, right here in my city. Often we think of a mission trip as a long distance destination, but this week I will be spending the week in downtown Toledo. I am so excited that this opportunity has opened up for me. I was supposed to have jury duty, but it turned out that the case was cancelled, which paved the way for me to be able to serve. God really must want me on this trip because he continues to break down all the obstacles and opposition that attempt to get in the way. Please pray for me and our group, that we will be the hands and feet of Jesus as we are commissioned on this spiritual journey. I am eager to return home to share all of the events with everyone. Until then, I'm off to the Big Serve!

Empty Hands held high
Such Small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign your name
to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

LORD, I give my life
A Living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Circumstances

Our God can always change our circumstances;
but our circumstances can never change our God.

New Kid? You're kidding, right?

I just finished a eight week course entitled, "Have A New Kid By Friday". By the looks of it, I don't think it has paid off yet. Friday isn't tomorrow, is it?

Dear Carnival Volunteer

Dear Carnival Volunteer,
I just wanted to send you a quick note to thank you for giving my kiddos a free fish at the school carnival. I am aware that the games were closing and the raffle and fireworks were beginning, but seriously, a free fish? I do appreciate you giving of your time to work the fish bowl game at the school carnival and I know how those Parent Club members can be, but seriously, a free fish. I know you struggled to figure out what to do with the leftovers, but there is no room in this house for a fish. The kiddos carried the little fishy, lovingly named Carlos in to show me. I was distracted as I set eyes on the prize...a AAA bag filled to the brim with goodies for your car(perfect for me since my battery has died twice in the past month). Before I knew it Carlos was in the van on his way to his new tupperware home, as Sis Margaret tried to squish him.

Carnival Volunteer, if you wanted to give away the fish, you should also have given away a fish bowl and food. I'm sorry but my Financial Peace budget didn't allow for a miscellaneous charge to take on a pet, regardless how small. Now, if I was flying to NYC to see a Broadway play for the night, I would presumably have the money to care for this fish, but I don't. My date nights consist of Taco Bell drive-thru and watching Sopranos reruns. I digress...I knew that I would have to care for this little fish and that I cannot do at this time in my life. The kiddos realized the sacrifice they would have to make to take care of him, and frankly, the idea that once appeared to be grand turned out to be a question of my sanity.

We almost called you, Carnival Volunteer, to accompany us to the neighborhood pond. Once there, we deposited our little Carlos into his new home. Here he will swim among the lost golf balls and algae that call this pond home. As we released him into the murky water, the kids expected him to swim away but he decided to "rest" (or at least that is what we told them. ) I think we traumatized him during his three day stay with us. We have been known to do that to company who stays too long. Let this be an open invitation, Carnival Volunteer, to come visit us anytime. We are sure you will enjoy your stay!

In loving memory of Carlos,
Crazy Momma Perry